Wonderful If He Would Carry Chains

DULUTH, Minn. – A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.

Prosecutors say Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.

————————-

Will There Be a BBQ?

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) – South African traditional leaders plan to perform ritual animal slaughters to bless stadiums for the 2010 World Cup tournament ahead of the start of the showcase event next June, they said on Friday.

Zolani Mkiva, chairman of the Makhonya Royal Trust, a grouping responsible for co-ordinating cultural activities, said the tournament, the first to be held in Africa, needed to be blessed in true “African style.”

“We must have a cultural ceremony of some sort, where we are going to slaughter a beast (cow),” said Mkiva.

————————

Mai-teh International Intelligence Research Institute?

TAIPEI (Reuters) – Authorities in Taiwan said on Thursday they would investigate a private training center after receiving testimony and videos showing that children were made to swallow fire and step on glass to build up their courage.

“My child was forced to split wood with his bare hands and wanted to die,” one mother said via local television.