‘We Did It Our Way’

parents graveside-flowers-Memorial Day-remembrance-SwittersB-photographyOne could write about one’s parents from so many angles of introspection. Let me ask you “do you know your parent(s)?” I mean actually know them beyond their outward actions, abbreviated comments and their expressions. For a start, do you know much about their early years? Have you ever had those clarifying, to the gut, conversations where parent-child does not exist in the moment?

I had few such conversations with my parents. I ‘know’ them by virtue of their deeds, their life’s day to day display. I had two gut wrenching moments, during times of taking their last breaths when the deepest truth gasped out. That is it. It has to be enough now.

Do you have children? Do they know the real you? Should you want to give part of that, do it while you can. We are so busy finding ourselves, improving ourselves…on and on the search goes. So tiring, so at times distracting. 


Not some passage of a popular song for my mother. She put that on the marker after my father passed away. It sounded sweet at the time. But, in time I have come to understand the depths of that phrase for them. Their early life was grim, harsh and coming out of the Depression and WWII they fiercely ground out a life together. Yes, they did do it their way, without therapy, self help books, incessant self analysis. Oh they had their fractures, their sins, their faults. They shared that with me via their actions, but never really themselves. It is all I have, it will have to do…for me. 

4 Responses to “‘We Did It Our Way’”

  1. July 7, 2014 at 16:26

    I know I was the person my mom was most comfortable with when she was dying and I think that is the culmination of our relationship. I always felt like I was just me and I was just there. I can’t even get my head around “family” or “mother” or “father”, even though I am now a grandmother. There are just people that are there. It is weird and it bothers me, but all I can do is try. I explain that to my daughters. One of them totally “understands” me.


  2. 3 Inese Poga Art Gallery
    July 7, 2014 at 10:48

    I do believe most people assume they know their parents. My dad is already in another dimension, and yes, I would say I know my mom. Our family relationships were never formal, and I’ve always been not only mom, but also the best friend for my daughter. We are learning from each other and we are enjoying each others achievements. I would say there are families which have strong ties and they are like an unbreakable wall, they come together and are there for each other whatever happens. I’ve always had that feeling. My dad used to repeat: love never ends. Hi assured me that even when the entire world would turn away, there’s still my family.


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